A little Snowdrop – the first flower to bloom after the New Year. This is the flower we will be planting for Michael, our oldest, whose Birthday is in January.
For years, I’ve wanted consistency in my writing. I’ve wanted to have something grand to show for all the walls of journals I’ve written. When I was a young, single artist – lonely, bemoaning my station in life; I spent the majority of my time wishing for a mate, writing long passages about my loneliness and how much I had to give. It used to be so much easier to write every day back before I became part of this joyous family. And there’s the rub. When I was alone, I spent all my time wishing for a family. I did not cherish my time then. Now I have a family, and I don’t want to make the same mistake of not cherishing my time now. How daft would that be, to wish for free time, when what I have is all this?
Now I have love that fills my days to the point that I rarely have a moment’s quiet. I spent my whole life until I was 36 wishing for more, and now I have more and there are days I begin to wish for just a trifle less.
Truly in this moment, I want to tell myself there will be plenty of alone moments at some point.
In the meantime, I will live it up with these crazy, wild children who have non-stop energy, endless questions and running hugs that know me over. Yes – there is simply not a thing about which to whimper.