This morning, I read Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and my whole spirit calmed down. He lived and was martyred during one of the most awful periods for the church. And yet, his words are like a balm and a reminder of what community is supposed to be like for believers. I do not think we are called to be shaking our fists and screaming our frustrations. … Continue reading Today I Choose Love and Light
As we rounded out the year of 2015, the boys and I sat up late-ish to watch Inside Out.
Of course, I’m raising boys after growing up in an all-girl family. It’s like Life doesn’t actually ever want us to feel capable or like we know one iota of what we’re doing. So, I can’t tell you if the interior landscape of boys during the upheaval that is Junior High is anything like that of girls, but I can tell you that I identified with every single thing that movie showed us about how an emotional world can crumble overnight.
It showed it so beautifully. And then it showed a boy’s mind – which was just a jumbled mess of bouncing things spazzing out because “There’s a Girl!” Which may just sum it up.
It’s cool how my boys watched it all the way through, even though, I was a slobbering, tear-streaked mess over it. There could be conversations about this in the future – especially as it relates to girls.
Some people go through a massive upheaval and recreation of all their core ideas and feelings as teenagers – a complete breakdown and disassemble and then a big, new, shiny control center with six times as many emotions is brought in – all sorts of complex reasoning and befuddlement gets added to the mix.
There are still ways to be happy and cool as a teenager. They are just surrounded by all these freak-out levers and gears.
It’s a very interesting time. I love how this movie showed it happening for a pre-teen. It was absolutely brilliant. I wish anyone had been able to explain these changes to me as a young person. I just thought I was crazy. It’s all perfectly normal. It’s absolutely completely normal to hit pre-puberty and feel like all is lost and you have no grip on reality. If only we as adults could usher our kids through this time better. If only we could help with signs along the way.
To be honest – I spent my entire twenties and half my thirties reeling from the trauma of my teens. If only I’d been able to see all that time ago, that I wasn’t crazy, or unbalanced, or OCD or anything else that people easily self-diagnose these days. I had just come through puberty, and my insides were in mass disorder. If only I’d been able to see that sooner, I could have started enjoying life ever so much sooner.
Which brings me to the terror of motherhood. Helping my children through this time. What the hell prepares anyone to do that? This great cartoon movie I just saw could help more than anything I’ve ever encountered in my life. No kidding.
Continue reading “Pre-Pubescent Insanity”
What a completely blissful day. These are the new rockers we picked up at a garage sale this weekend, and this is the view looking out onto our back field in Southern Oregon. It goes on and on and we end up with stunning sunsets all summer long. I sat out here and read the first chapter of The Conscious Parent for a new reading … Continue reading Endless View from Rocking Chairs
Katagiri Roshi says, “Our goal is to have kind consideration for all sentient beings every moment forever.” This does not mean put a good poem on paper and then spit at our lives, curse our cars, and cut off someone on the freeway. It means carry the poem away from the desk and into the kitchen. That is how we will survive as writers, … Continue reading Let the Whole Thing Flower
Somehow, the other day, having lunch with Bean, the idea of Tevya singing If I were a Rich Man, from “Fiddler on the Roof,” popped into my head. Bean was telling me about a dream he had with lots of staircases going in every direction. Some of them didn’t even actually Go Anywhere, he was saying. I am a product of my childhood, watching … Continue reading Another Going Nowhere, Just for Show
The thing is, the world of the internet is exciting and terrific and mind-blowing and brilliant. It can also be terrifying. My kids got hand-me-down phones that were so worthless, and non-functional that my husband and I had bought new ones for ourselves. Somehow, as soon as they were in our kids’ possession, they worked perfectly, and the kids had ipods. We had tech … Continue reading How I Became Content Creator for my Kids on the Information Super Highway
I like Aha Moments. I’m an Aha Moment Junkie. I have them all the time, and revel in the ways my mind can become excited all over again about a new idea. And then another one, and another one. I’m like a kid in a candy store of thoughts. They’re all so sparkly and shiny and delicious. Which is one reason I love to read. … Continue reading Words and Thoughts that Change our Molecules
Earlier this week, we were having a dinner table conversation led by my husband about Not Judging a Book by its Cover – not judging people – understanding that everyone has a story. We may not ever know what drives a person, but we have to give space, give grace, and give a level of tolerance knowing that people are acting out their experience. Sometimes … Continue reading I Do Not Tug at their Hearts for No Reason
We get to see my little sister and her family tomorrow, as they drive through our area on their way to their new home in Portland, Oregon. She has been in the San Francisco Bay Area all her adult life. She has had the most terrific views, and walked to everything she loves doing. She has moved a couple of times, but this is … Continue reading The Sucker Punch of Moving
This was the phrase floating through my head all morning as I cleaned my house. I cleaned everything. My house has not been this spotless in a long time. I cleaned with joy. I cleaned with a spring in my step. Bean helped me with the more fun parts, like the duster dealie-ma-thingie. The other day I read an article about being a good wife … Continue reading Where there are no Oxen, the Stalls are Clean