“At this point in his life, he hadn’t started inhabiting his work, like he did later.” Continue reading Inhabit
As we rounded out the year of 2015, the boys and I sat up late-ish to watch Inside Out.
Of course, I’m raising boys after growing up in an all-girl family. It’s like Life doesn’t actually ever want us to feel capable or like we know one iota of what we’re doing. So, I can’t tell you if the interior landscape of boys during the upheaval that is Junior High is anything like that of girls, but I can tell you that I identified with every single thing that movie showed us about how an emotional world can crumble overnight.
It showed it so beautifully. And then it showed a boy’s mind – which was just a jumbled mess of bouncing things spazzing out because “There’s a Girl!” Which may just sum it up.
It’s cool how my boys watched it all the way through, even though, I was a slobbering, tear-streaked mess over it. There could be conversations about this in the future – especially as it relates to girls.
Some people go through a massive upheaval and recreation of all their core ideas and feelings as teenagers – a complete breakdown and disassemble and then a big, new, shiny control center with six times as many emotions is brought in – all sorts of complex reasoning and befuddlement gets added to the mix.
There are still ways to be happy and cool as a teenager. They are just surrounded by all these freak-out levers and gears.
It’s a very interesting time. I love how this movie showed it happening for a pre-teen. It was absolutely brilliant. I wish anyone had been able to explain these changes to me as a young person. I just thought I was crazy. It’s all perfectly normal. It’s absolutely completely normal to hit pre-puberty and feel like all is lost and you have no grip on reality. If only we as adults could usher our kids through this time better. If only we could help with signs along the way.
To be honest – I spent my entire twenties and half my thirties reeling from the trauma of my teens. If only I’d been able to see all that time ago, that I wasn’t crazy, or unbalanced, or OCD or anything else that people easily self-diagnose these days. I had just come through puberty, and my insides were in mass disorder. If only I’d been able to see that sooner, I could have started enjoying life ever so much sooner.
Which brings me to the terror of motherhood. Helping my children through this time. What the hell prepares anyone to do that? This great cartoon movie I just saw could help more than anything I’ve ever encountered in my life. No kidding.
Continue reading “Pre-Pubescent Insanity”
Being on the right side of the brain is a little like being on the Left Bank in Paris: relaxing while watching the passing show, listening to the music on the corner. It’s a place to sit around and tell stories and wonder about it all – and most important, to slow down. Call it crazy or lazy, this wisdom may be found only … Continue reading Right Brain, Left Bank and Parenting through Teenage Angst
It’s Tao Tuesday! As always, I will refer you back to the original page, Tao te Ching Daily, and her series, Tao Tuesday. There, you will find rich discussion and articles from every chapter of the Tao, spanning I think a couple of years. I’m just starting over here, and relishing the discipline of looking at these brief words and finding the wisdom and beauty … Continue reading Easy, Now, Grasshopper!
Today, while doing chores, I listened to a book on tape from the library called, “How the Universe got its Spots.” (This is a link to the Amazon book, because I couldn’t link to the book on tape for some reason.) The gifted young cosmologist Janna Levin sets out to determine the size of the universe, along the way providing an intimate look at the … Continue reading On Motherhood, Physics and Relativity
Katagiri Roshi says, “Our goal is to have kind consideration for all sentient beings every moment forever.” This does not mean put a good poem on paper and then spit at our lives, curse our cars, and cut off someone on the freeway. It means carry the poem away from the desk and into the kitchen. That is how we will survive as writers, … Continue reading Let the Whole Thing Flower
Let me preface by saying that after writing today’s reflection, I feel raw because of how much I have to learn. This motherhood thing is ever changing, constant learning, every day more to understand about ourselves and therefore how we parent. I choose to keep thinking that every day I am trying to be better, but a lot of times, I feel the weight of how … Continue reading Lessons in Learning
Tao Te Ching – Chapter 74 – with Reflection If you realize that all things change, there is nothing you will try to hold on to. If you aren’t afraid of dying, there is nothing you can’t achieve. Trying to control the future is like trying to take the master carpenter’s place. When you handle the master carpenter’s tools, chances are that you’ll cut … Continue reading Balance – That Damned Word
If I could see what you see; the finished project from a pile of scraps. The angles and lines and tiny details, wheels within wheels that leap from your mind; the magic you create. I run along beneath you as you soar – holding ropes or guide lines. Trying to offer some balance; tiny morsels of grammar tucked in between your gears and pulleys, A … Continue reading I Run Along Beneath You
I started to say that whenever we have a day where I feel like I’ve given my absolute best, I’ve poured everything I have into this mothering gig, and really done a bang up job, that’s when my kids act out and get crazy and I end up becoming unravelled by bedtime… I started to say that, and then this story popped into my … Continue reading Constantly Knocking Over the Teacups